Johnny has officially been pumping insulin for 4 weeks! We are really happy with the results and learning new things about Type 1 Diabetes, about managing his BG with a pump, and about continuing to live as close to how we would have been with out D in our lives. We have a lot more highs and lows than we used to but, I can see reasons and trends and we CAN fix most of them, but we are making small changes so it is a slow process.
For the few days leading up to Johnny switching from MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) to Pumping I was wondering if I was going to change my mind about the whole thing. Every time I thought about seeing him "hooked up" to the pump I would cry, a lot. I don't talk about it much because I feel I am not allowed to be weak when it is really Johnny, not me, that has to go through this forever. Let me explain. I still struggle with March 7th. You see... March 7th 2012 was the last day my son didn't have an illness. Of course he did actually have it but it was March 7th that it was diagnosed, given a name, and put into our reality. When I look around my house, there are 18 framed pictures just downstairs of this sweet boy. I am that mom! I would have prints of every event done and hang them up. But I haven't done that since his diagnosis. His 3rd birthday party was just 3 weeks later, and now 4 months after that and I still haven't had a single print made of it. Part of me doesn't want to take down the pictures of him when he was still "perfect." I want to hold on to that baby. So as far as pumping goes... I knew that the day we started pumping, July 9th would feel similar. From that day on I would not see my baby with out a tube connecting him to a pump. The thought of him coming downstairs last Christmas morning with out a pump connected to him, and knowing that will be the last Christmas I see him with out one eats away at me. I think of swim parties, and Halloween costumes, and so many other times when I know that PUMP will be there like a constant reminder and announcement to others of his Diabetes. It doesn't matter how much it helps him, I am mourning the loss of the boy with out on.
But now 4 weeks later. It bothers me so much less. And mostly because he doesn't care at all.
I now present to you The Bionic Boy, with a better control of his blood glucose!